Darlington MAG's Petfood Run

Saturday 21st March 1998

Well its that time of year again. The Petfood Run is upon us. I turned up at the Black Swan and was promptly informed by Ash that I was marshalling. At 1:30 the convoy left and headed out to call in at the local branches of Morrisons and Pets at Home to collect donations.
The plan, as Ash patiently explained to me, was to head up Yarm Road and into Pets at Home. "Fine" says I, "but don't expect me to lead the way in cos I havn't the foggiest where it is".

Off we went, marshals having a whale of a time hurtling up the wrong side of the road into oncoming traffic, blocking off junctions, stopping people with right of way at traffic lights and generally behaving like megalomaniacs. At the top of Yarm road there is a roundabout, as I approached it I noticed a) all other nearby marshal where blocking traffic, and b) I was now at the head of the convoy. Did I get it right? Did I bollox.
Round the roundabout I took them, past the turn-off into Pets at Home and straight on towards Morrisons. Considerable confusion followed.
The only moral I can offer from this exercise is that, if your lost, or even if your not, don't follow a purple RF900. It's highly unlikely the pilot knows where he going. And if he thinks he does, he's most likely to be wrong.

Eventually, despite my assistance, the donations where collected, photos where taken and we all headed off on the old Croft, Hurworth and Neasham route to Sadberge and the Canine Defence League Sanctuary.
The run was as usual too slow for the sports boys and girls, but too fast for the polish-it-now brigade, in other words we all rode very sensibly and I only stuffed one person up the inside. But that's OK cos I was still wearing my marshalling vest ;-)

Now as some of you might remember from last years report, the Canine Defence League Sanctuary was then run by an absolute babe called Jo Mannell. Upon hearing that she had left there was distress within the ranks and much sobbing and breaking of hearts.
Adios Jo, we wish you well wherever you are. Hello Samantha Bell, new chief and sex goddess, and her entourage of handmaidens who supplied us with tea and biscuits.
After the collection of assorted doggie nosh was delivered and more photos taken Dave Smith and myself found ourselves press-ganged into introducing Samantha and Co. to the pleasures of motorcycling which they enjoyed thoroughly. At least we think they did. Well we couldn't hear any screaming (well you can't above 150 can you). (Only joking).
Eventually we had to leave this Garden of Eden to return to the more mundane realities of getting mindlessly drunk. To facilitate this activity the Fiendish Delights had organised a party at the Havelock in Middleton St. George and convinced the locals that having a field full of inebriated bikers camping in the local playing field would be a good idea.
A good time was had by all. It would not be complete without a special mention to young Steve who turned up on his (t)rusty CB250, managed to entertain us all with his drunken behaviour, wrote "War and Peace" on his chest and got abused, on the dance floor. I'll draw a veil over their sordid, and frankly shocking, activities and leave it to your warped imaginations (and, of course, the photos) to fill in the details.

The final turnout at the the Canine Defence League was 51 bikes. Not bad going methinks. Summer starts here folks.

And a HUGE "Ta very much" to -

Pets at Home for their generous donation
Morrisons for their carpark
Darlington Police for allowing us to cause chaos with the Saturday afternoon traffic
North of England Newspapers for the coverage
Ash for only being slightly sarcastic at my navigational abilities
All those car drivers who graciously put up with us yet again.
The landlord and staff of the Havelock, Middleton St. George.

emails to steve@harriet80.freeserve.co.uk