1st - 3rd December 2000
Lindsey and I set off for Linton (nr Grassington) just as the sun was setting. In a fit of practicality we decided to take my car...
All went well till somewhere in the middle of nowhere the
battary warning light started to glow dimly. A few miles later it's
glowing brightly, unlike the headlights which are taking on a
dusky tinge, I give up on main beam to try and keep going.
Shortly after this the voltmeter drops to bugger all and dip beam
is starting to resemble the parking lights. Oh shit ....
Then, after slowing down for some oncoming traffic, everything
returns to normal. Great joy.
A few miles and wrong turns later we're at the YHA in Linton,
booked out for the weekend for our enjoyment.
For reasons beyond my northern comprehension the local pub is
closed, still we've got plenty of supplies so I'm sure we'll
survive. Only one area is designated as a "smoking zone",
the glazed lobby into the building, so this is where most of the
entertainment takes place.
Sometime much later I stagger of to my bed.
Oh yes the beds. It's dormitories and the sleeping arrangement
have been planned by a woman. So instead of basing it on snoring
ability it based on gender. Needless to say there is a prime
warthog in our midst.
By 5:30 I've had sufficient insomnia and stumble downstairs
for a coffee. Shortly after 6:00 Jas and Neil are driven out by
the noise. The next couple of hours are punctuated by the boys
coming down one at a time muttering about some noisy bastard
grunting away in his pit.
Eventually there is only one left, so we all ran back upstairs,
decapitated him, put his head into the wood burner and fed the
remains of his corpse to the children.
OK, stop blubbing we didn't.
Much later, OK about 10:00am, Lindsey and I go for a walk down to
Grassington to find breakfast. It's a nice place Grassington,
good cafe, good food and there is a Dickensian Fair taking place,
although this is far less entertaining than it sounds.
Shortly after midday I'm back in my bunk catching up on some Z's.
I'm woken by about 4:00pm by Jas profering more Red Bull. This
rattles me to life as we head across to the pub for a pre tea
pint of Old P. or two.
Later we giggle our way back for huge amounts of food (this is
after all a WIMA event) and the continuing party ...
Much drunker and later some return to the pub and some collapse
in front of the video.
A combination of earplugs, sleep deprivation and getting
thoroughly wasted ensures a good nights sleep.
It is the dawn of the living dead. People emerge from various
corners in the house and stumble about looking for coffee and
food, all to a backdrop of hoovering and polishing.
By midday everyone is on their way home to bed. Except of course
Heather and Jackie who are off in search of another party...